The Road to Jealousy
by notsoinnocentfangirl
Summary: Jealousy is a dark, overwhelming emotion, one that often overtakes us and leaves us thinking dark thoughts. But sometimes, like in Remus' case, jealousy leads to good things. RL/SB slash


_**A/N: I really do not know where this one came from. But I kinda like how it came out. It flowed together rather easily and smoothly as I wrote it. Hope you all like it. **_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing, of course, which sucks. I do own a bathroom though, and I was imagining mine, and them and…. You'll get what I'm rambling on about as you read. Lol. **_

_**Dedications: Sweetie, I have NO IDEA what your username is right now since you always change it, lol. So to Maegan, who agrees that murder is very acceptable when someone is trash talking Remus. **_

_**The Road to Jealousy**_

Remus sighs tiredly as he comes to stand in front of the flat that he shares with Sirius. It had been a long day at the small bookstore that he works at, filled to the brim with rude, demanding customers and a rather grumpy, short tempered boss who wanted things done just right. He wants nothing more than to go inside and to sleep for the next year, to curl up on his rather small bed and to burrow under the mountain of homemade quilts his mother had forced upon him and to sink into oblivion without any worries at all.

But of course, when he unlocks the door to the flat in a part of Muggle London that both he and Sirius had agreed to live in a few months ago, after many arguments about money and Remus' stubborn refusal to get anything he couldn't make a fair contribution to, and eases the door open with one tired, muscle tense shoulder, he finds that Sirius is already home from his own job, having finished whatever training that Mad-Eye Moody had assigned for today a bit early. And of course, Remus realizes, with a sinking heart and a churning stomach, Sirius is not alone.

"Moony!" Sirius shouts with a rather crazed grin, all sharp, white teeth and thin pink lips taking up half of his handsomely pale face, as he sees his friend standing in the door way. His grey eyes simply sparkle with mischief and an almost overwhelming amount of pleasure, though Remus doubts it has anything to do with him having arrived home and has more to do with the two gorgeous girls that were practically sitting in the ebony haired man's lap. He tries to keep his lips from curling into a bitter scowl at the thought. It's not their fault that they are so attractive, with their thin bodies and big breasts and long legs while he himself isn't anything more than a long, thin expanse of pale skin and too many scars. "I brought company!" Sirius continues gleefully, having no idea that his friend is going through an inner turnover of self disgust and depression. He makes his announcement in such a way that makes it seem as if he thinks that bringing home two scantily dressed women, however beautiful, is something that Remus should be proud of, maybe even thankful for. Remus simply shakes his head and turns away, trying to hide the hurt that he knows is evident in his light brown eyes. The two women don't even pay him any mind. It's as if he never even entered the room. They simply hang off of Sirius and giggle, their brightly painted lips parted in an expectant type of way, as if they are waiting for the handsome young man to kiss them. Remus feels ill at the mere thought of it, but not only that. There's some deeper emotion swirling in him, something darker that wants to rip those girls away from his friend and take their place, to situate himself firmly in Sirius' lap and to cover the other man's lips with his own and to not pull away until they are both gasping, lips swollen red and eyes glazed. He wants to trail his lips down Sirius' neck and to bite down on it, to suck the pale skin into his mouth and to leave a mark that everyone can see, one that says _"mineminemine"_ and leaves no doubt as to who Sirius belongs to. He wants Sirius to cling to him, breath hot and moist against his scarred throat, and realize that Remus is just as good as any whore that he happens to bring home, even if he really isn't. He hears Sirius say his name, and for a moment it blends in with the fantasy going on in his head. He sees Sirius arch up, back bowed and head thrown back, moaning for him. But the other man's voice nothing more than a strange mixture of amusement and concern, nothing like the passion and pure want in his fantasy, and so it pierces through the traitorus thoughts and mental images. Remus shakes his head again, trying to rid himself of the Sirius that lives inside of his head, the one that wants him and…. And loves him. As if that could ever be a possibility.

"Good for you," he finally manages to say, trying to insert fake cheer in his voice. It trembles though, and he bites his lip to keep from making a bigger fool of himself.

"Moony," Sirius asks, and Remus can see the tall, lithe man rise off of the couch from the corner of his eyes. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," Remus says. It might be one of the biggest lies that he's ever told. He gives his friend a weak smile, trying to pass the pain of unrequited love up as tiredness. "I'm just going to take a shower and go to sleep. Have fun Sirius."

As he turns to walk away, he hears the two women's giggles increase in volume. "Sit back down sweetheart," one says, her voice thick with lust and sickening sweet seduction. "We'll keep you company."

"Yes," the other says, her voice a rich purr. "Let him go," she murmurs. "He seems like a bore anyways. But we aren't baby. We'll show you a good time. Forget about your friend. We're here now."

The other girl laughs, and there's a rustle of fabric that indicates that she's shifting closer. "Yes. He's quite ugly anyways. There's no need for him to be here. You'll prefer us to him any day once we show you what we can do."

Remus feels tears prickle at the back of his eyes as he hears them speak, and hears Sirius say nothing in reply. Sirius doesn't even bother to defend him. And again, as suddenly as if a dam has been opened up from deep within him, that dark, overwhelming emotion from moments before rises up in him, welling up in his throat and making him gasp. Hate for these women fills him all of a sudden, the type of hatred that he only ever feels for Death Eaters and for the werewolf that changed him and for those who are so cruel that they hardly seem human. He wants to rip out their throats. He wants to tear their limbs from their bodies and listen to them scream. He wants to make sure that they can never come near what is his, that they can never touch Sirius again. Remus practically runs to the bathroom in order to escape the temptation to kill and to mark and to claim.

He turns the water on as hot as he can stand it without burning his skin, and strips himself of his beige trousers, blue button down shirt, and his socks and loafers as well. He stands there in his white briefs for a moment, breathing in and out shallowly. He tries to calm himself, to get himself under control; he tries to convince himself that these blood thirsty thoughts are not his, that they do not belong to him, but to the wolf that dwells inside of him. He knows that it's a lie though. He is the wolf. And the wolf is him. There is no escaping it.

Finally he shuts his eyes, strips himself of his briefs, and steps forward to climb into the tub.

Only to reel back a second later, a growl rising from deep within his chest as a slim, long fingered hand wraps around his forearm and yanks him back.

"What the bloody hell," he curses, whirling around. His brown eyes flash with rage. It doesn't fade, not even when he sees that it is Sirius standing there, looking sheepish and concerned and wary, with the bathroom door open behind him and the two women he was with nowhere in sight. "Don't you fucking know that a locked door means that you aren't welcomed to come in? Get out!"

"What the hell is wrong with you," Sirius asks, sounding more curious than angry. Something flashes in his grey eyes though, something powerful, and Remus has to dig his feet into the tiled floor to keep from lunging at him. At this point he doesn't know if it will lead to blood being spilt or semen being produced, though the second sounds much more enjoyable.

"Maybe I just don't want you in here while I don't having bloody clothes on," Remus snarls. "If you wanted to see someone naked that badly, there are two willing girls right out in our living room. You didn't have to come all the way over here. I'm sure they would have stripped down in a jiffy, if you had just made your desire known."

Again, something flashes in Sirius' eyes, but this time it is there and gone so fast that Remus can't identify it. The ebony haired man bites his lip. "I sent them home," he admits, and shrugs carelessly, but there's anger lurking beneath it all now, only noticeable to Remus because he knows the taller man so well.

"Well why the fuck did you do that," Remus asks. He takes a step back, not caring that the sharp edge of the sink is digging into his back. He can't…. he just can't stand here, in such a small, confined space, that just happens to be filled with steam, for fuck's sakes, while he's completely naked, and be this close to Sirius. It's too much. It's too overwhelming.

Sirius looks at Remus as if he's an idiot. "Because of what they were saying about you, you fucking wanker! And don't tell me that you didn't hear any of it. I know how good your hearing is! You honestly think that I would keep them around, that I'd even want to, after they said those things about you?"

"Yes," Remus says, not even hesitating in his response. He feels a sense of sick satisfaction when he sees the hurt flash through Sirius' eyes. He continues, making his voice sound as flippant as he can. "They were only making their opinions known. And honestly Sirius, it was true. I am rather boring. I know this quite well. And I'm as unattractive as they come. So really, it doesn't matter. Go after them. Take them up on their offer."

Sirius growls and suddenly he's pressing into Remus' personal space, one leg between his thigh and his hands coming down to trap Remus against the sink. Remus can't remember the last time he saw the older man look so livid. There seems to be blue fire burning in his eyes. Remus struggles against him, trying to free himself, and is shocked when he can't. When did Sirius become stronger than he is?

"Let go of me Sirius," Remus says, his voice low with dark threats. "I just want to shower and go to be," he tells the man, even though he knows that he'll be getting no sleep tonight, not now. "So get the fuck out of here so I can have some peace."

Sirius shakes his head and presses closer to Remus, pressing their chests firmly together. Even through the material of Sirius' t shirt, and the rough fabric of his jeans, Remus can feel the pure, overwhelming heat of him. He struggles not to let out a whimper or a moan. It doesn't change the fact that he's hardening at a rather alarming rate though.

He can only pray to Merlin that Sirius won't notice.

Sirius' lips curl into a scowl. "You're such a fucking idiot Remus. God, how could our teachers back at Hogwarts have ever thought that you were the bloody smart one amongst us? You have no sense at all."

"Are you through insulting me," Remus asks, and he turns his head away. He can't look at Sirius anymore. It hurts too much.

Sirius growls and grabs a hold of his chin, yanking his head around so that his brown eyes clash with Sirius' angry grey ones. "After all this time, you still don't fucking get it, do you?"

"Get what?" Remus growls, growing frustrated.

"That I fucking love you!" Sirius says, and yanks Remus forward so that their lips smash together in a kiss that's more of a violent clashing of teeth than anything.

Oh, Remus thinks weakly, his head swirling with so many different emotions as he clings to Sirius. Now he understands. It might not make perfect sense, but it's Sirius, so he understands.

He doesn't fight the other man anymore after that, at least not in a way that can lead to spilt blood.

_**Yes, the title sucked. I could think of nothing else. Yes, the ending sucked (did it? *looks panicked*) but I don't have time to write smut without getting into trouble! Lol. Ummm…. Anyways…. I hope you liked this. I had fun writing it. Please let me know if I made any mistakes. **_

_**Oh, and updates! They should be coming this week. Exams are over, so that's a lot less stess (even if my doctors are adding to it about twice as much. Ugh.) and I'm trying to remember what those requests I got were since I can't check my account often. Be patient please!**_

_**Please review! Lol. They make me see that you guys still love me rather than hate me. **_


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